I stared at my little brother as he sat in one corner of his room crying, as if our parents had died. But our parents were in the next room. That’s why he stuffed the curtain in his mouth so that his sobs don’t reach the next room. Daddy would have hit him harder. Already his face was covered with bruises. A punishment for failing in the exam. That was the crime my little brother had committed. Being the elder sister I wanted to go hug him. Tell him that it’s okay. Exams don’t define life. Exams don’t set standards. Exams don’t make or break dreams. But I couldn’t. Daddy and Mummy didn’t want me to. After all the little brother is supposed to grow up to become a man. But I really wish I could have done something.
Fifteen years have passed and my brother has grown up. He is getting married. I think this will be the happiest day of my life. I have always dreamt about the things I will do at his wedding. In fact I have a playlist on my mind. And his sweet adorable wife, I will treat her like my younger sister. My mother looks exhausted. She is growing old. Her health has taken a toll. There’s still so much to be done. The house has to be decorated. Clothes have to be selected. Guests have to be entertained. Food has to be cooked for everyone. But there’s no one to help my mother. Everyone is busy celebrating. They are all having fun. Daddy and Mummy didn’t want me to be a part of this mess. They didn’t want me to help Mummy or try to cheer her up. They don’t understand but I could have helped.
Twenty more years have passed and my old adorable daddy is sitting on the porch reading the newspaper. His favourite ritual. Something that he has been doing all his life. His eyes are all over the newspaper. As if he’s trying to look for something that’ll cheer him up. I know him. He’ll never show what’s troubling him. But I know. He still yearns for my little brother. My brother is in US with his wife and kids. It’s been five years and he hasn’t visited my family. My dad had exhausted his retirement fund trying to cure mom from her illness. My brother couldn’t contribute. He has a wife and 2 kids to take care of anyway. I couldn’t either. My parents never let me work so no money. But today I wish I could help them. I wish I could sit with them and talk to them.
I know they need me, their elder daughter. But they can’t have me. Because they killed me long back. Even before I was born. I wish I could find out the reason. What was my fault? There was so much I could have done for them. There’s so much I have missed.
Every year a million baby girls are murdered in India, even before they are born.
Stop Female Foeticide.