Krrish 3 – The Revenge of a Director

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As audience we often cross our limits. Invariably we go out of our way to criticise movies with big names and shallow plots. Hardly do we consider the effort, the time and the money that goes into making a movie. All we care about is that we should get our money’s worth.

So Mr. Rakesh Roshan, a veteran director takes it upon him to get revenge from 100 million Indians. Hell hath no fury for a director scorned. So was he able to get his revenge. Ask yourself. Ask the 300 bucks you spent. Ask the two and half hours it consumed. Ask the hair that was brutally murdered while the movie was on.

Senior Roshan started the revenge saga by not showing us Krrish 2. I mean can there ever be a better revenge. You make a trilogy and then don’t release the second part for the audience. That’s called revenge. Take that bloody audience!!!

In a movie titled Krrish, one would expect Krrish to consume maximum screen space. But no. It wasn’t Krrish, nor his dad, nor his wife, nor the mutants nor Kaal. It was Tata Motors. The logo and the car together gets more screen space than any other characters.

While the director is out getting his revenge why would his music director brother stay behind? In fact he raises the bar. He creates the most sensational piece of shit ever witnessed on the silver screen. And the lyricist!!! I am sure Rahul Gandhi can write better songs than the lyricist. The videos of each song were horrendous. “Dil tu hi bata” made Hrithik and Kangna look like Manoj Tiwary and Shweta Tiwary. Even they would have had better dance moves. It almost looked like a tribute to B-grade Bhojpuri dance moves. While the song “God Allah aur Bhagwan had a mob of extras so pathetic that they would make the extras of Mahabharata (the one that’s currently on air) win an award.

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When you consider the rest of the movie, the VFX actually feels better. Yes it copied. No there’s no original scene. However, there is a unique building which bears a startling resemblance to Mukesh Ambani’s house. The self-acclaimed world’s most expensive residence falls and Krrish saves it too. While Hollywood superheroes only care for people, our superhero cares for buildings too. After all we all know the real estate prices in Mumbai. No one can afford to fool around with it. The Krrish v/s Kaal fight sequence looked like an Ireland v/s Zimbabwe match. Not at all exciting, yet someone had to win.

But, undoubtedly, the biggest revenge was the distribution of powers. Rakesh Roshan keeps you guessing till the end. Even then you can’t be sure of the powers possessed by Krrish and the mutants (Maanvars).

Kaya is India’s answer to Mystique. Only difference is Kaya is hornier. One hug and a kiss from Krrish make her betray Kaal, the man who created her, the man who should have been her God.

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Kaal portrayed by Vivek Oberoi has various powers. He wears the face-pack (cheaper version) of the Joker and laughs like Santa Claus. These aren’t exactly his powers. So while our Kaal is on the wheel-chair he has the powers of Professor Charles Xavier. He can control everything with his mind and 2 fingers. But once our Kaal stands up he turns into Magneto. In fact his silver uniform is formed by various iron scraps in the room. Which literally and figuratively turns him into a garbage bag. A garbage bag with a rugby helmet. Kaal is created from the DNA of Rohit. He has a heart and there is normal blood flow. However he cannot die. Because as per his logic “marte woh hai jo janm lete hain”. So the entire city had to turn into a reflector to destroy him.

Now let’s talk about Krrish. The one man Avengers, the one man Justice League, the one man Pandavas, the one man Sunny Deol. Exactly what was his power? He can run faster than Flash. He can jump higher than Captain America. He is stronger than Hulk. He can fly faster than Superman. He is a nightmare for DC and Marvel comics. Don’t be surprised if in Avengers 2 Krissh comes and saves the day for Avengers. Krrish is the only superhero who dances and sings. And you thought Tony Stark was an eccentric. Towards the end he also gets the intelligence of his scientist dad. So now he is Hulk and Bruce Banner without going nuts. Hulk would have turned green with jealousy just by hearing about Krrish. Thank God he is already green.

The best parts of the movie were:

1 – After seeing the Maanvars in the first half, during the interval we see an AD for Maanyavar (a brand that designs traditional Indian clothes). Quite a hilarious product placement.

2 – The trailer of Dhoom 3 during the interval.

To hell with noise-free and pollution-free Diwali.

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